Yeahhh...finally it's time write something on this. So many times I have heard about this from friends.....I have made so many silly mistakes in those moments of anger be it punching a wall...window or breaking a glass in hand. I am not justifying my anger but just trying to be honest with my self to accept it as my weakness. Most of the times or say all the times after few minutes I realize my mistake and try to make things even which was broken or damaged by my anger be it a friends...a relationship or any non-living thing. Hardly succeeded in doing it ...every time I promise my self but then after sometimes I do it again.
See....we claim to be a strong person in front of people around us....for the world...may be we can try doing in front of friends and parents but then it's difficult to lie to oneself ...nearly impossible.
Sometimes we act foolish.... when we like someone...like someone more than we should. I am not talking about love.....It's the state of confusion....because when you are in love.... you forgive everything.... and keep on living in the hurt. But when you are not sure of your feelings....it keeps on piling and sometimes frustration come our in burst as anger.
Again.....the hitch here is that right differs for everyone....what is right for me may not be the same for you....and that's where the problem starts. Even bigger problem is the expectations....Expectations are a part of any relations....and they increase or change with time. Sooner you accept and acknowledge this, the better.
What I feel is that ....It's very easy to be a shoulder when someone is sad.....listening him/her blubbering is not that difficult either. As per me the most difficult part is to make a room for happiness for that person. So if you know that you can't fulfil the latter....then there is no meaning of doing the former. Because in that case you always end up hurting someone in the process.
For the past one month (actually it's true for every month).... I have felt so many emotions....but most of the time it has been anger. Not on others but I think ....I was angry at myself.
But yeah I am saying this.....there is also true that ....there is no room for regret in my life. I haven't regretted anything I have done so far......which I believe was my correct thing to do. I believe in autocratic democracy ...you are free to give advice but decision will be mine and...then I will take the full responsibility of my actions.
But again here.....what makes me angry is when people forget.....forget the fact that you are human. ....Just like them....and also you can be sensitive....may be not for most of things but for something. You may get offended for that something....even may be by the smallest of thing....then I expect the other person to understand your anger.... Because what I believe is that Anger comes where there is love....there is care....I can't be angry at some random people....but than most people overlook the fact.....they become defensive....and that kills the understanding.
Sometimes we feels that .....Life teaches lessons in a harsh way. And also it's a fact that we don't really know what's happening in others' lives.
It is also true that.....when I am writing about my stupid emotions here.....in some part of the world.... someone would be praying....praying to save a dear one's life.... someone would be waiting.....waiting for help after meeting with a horrible accident.... someone would be celebrating....celebrating a success at career......also someone would be happy .....very happy because the girl he loves just said yes (lucky boy)..... and someone must have lost a huge assignment still fighting to start a life again. Someone may be trying to sleep and someone may trying to wake up.
You know what.....when the worst possible scenario chooses to be in your life.....you wake up every morning miserable.... and want to yell like a hell - why me. But there is not answer....whether you chose it... Or it chose you.... In any case it's you who has to fight with this. It's a Fight within yourself.....To keep convincing yourself that you will have good days too. Until then..... try to look for the you.... that's gone missing.
If you are lucky enough then you will get it and.... If you get that....help me to know where to search... :)
Have a rocking life ahead :)
