10 question that bothers you most #QuarterLifeCrisis

One more time I am back with my favorite topic :p

So being 25 year old , a victim of quarter life crisis... I used to listen all these questions. I am guy of 25 well settled... living alone in cool city enjoying my life with friends. If not hating them....it certainly irritates me. 

Many of my friends are engaged...married....and very soon some of them will be having kids too. So it's not quite surprising that I have to face this questions. #SachKaSamana . That was little background I want to make you aware before throwing the list of 10 deadly bouncers to you .....which annoys me the most.

So here my top 10 situation and questions goes like.......

(Courtesy - Google Image)

1. When you are forced to attend some family function...you trying to hide out in some corner and        mom call you to meet some one and.....

• Okay so...well settled in life.... what about marriage now?

Trust me...this question always pops up during conversation...

2. A very next question followed by above one is....

• Aah.. all of your friends are getting married, perhaps you're next? 

Come on dude...take a chill....It's their choice, not mine! At least give me some valid reason :p

3. The question comes .....only moment after seeing some photos of your with friend in mobile or lappyy...

• Ohhh Pretty lady....Are you dating her? Do you want to marry her?

Koi isko ...chup karao yaar....ye warna bachhoo ka name tak puchh lega.... 

4. While reading a news about Deepika turned 25 or Salman turned 49.....

• You're also of 25 na? No plans of getting married ?

Areeyy yaar galti ho gayiii...25 ka ho ke... 

5. These all were people from out side...some distance relatives...real fear comes when it comes from Mom...indirectly......that too just after you have started eating home made food after a long time.....

• You know Mahesh uncle's cousin's neighbour's daughter is getting married next week. (Get the underlying question there? )

I know ....my mom so I can change her thought process to different direction.....

6.  Then comes Padoshwali Aunty.... always eager to meet you...and immediately peep into you home...after seeing your car parked out side..... 

• "Oh beta, padhai to kab ki khatam ab shaadi?" (Studies over, now marriage? Is that all to life really? )

7. After the aunt...now it's turn of uncle to give you advice..... (Khushi dekhi nahi jatiii ...hamari )

• Why don't you do MBA if you're not planning on getting married? ( Please explain the connectivity of the two.... ye to Salman khan ko bhi suggest karenge....shaddi nahi karni to MBA kar lo....)

8. If this is not enough then....when you are attending someone's marriage ..... your elder sister or cousin will pop up....

• In typical fat indian wedding ....where every girl comes in her best attire...." You know the groom's cousin is quite good looking. Do you want me to set you up? "( A big nooo....I just came here to have some food :p .... not to create a scene of Karan Johar's movie...)

9.  Now it's time for most dangerous question .....by your best friend ( by chance if she is female... )

• WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW? (Uhhh...uhhh.. what part do you not get?)

10. Final one mostly caught us off guarded.....and it comes from MOM....

• "Beta, what do you want to eat? " ( Well....honestly...I love this one....but what scare me most is the questions coming after this.....and it's endless... )

P.S.:  Honestly....I have nothing against marriage. But what I think is that.... it shall happen when it happens (Even I am looking for one life partner....who hold my hand in my Up's and downs).

But then....I do hate it.... when everyone is hell bent on asking me the same questions....repeatedly...I hate it so much as a man hate the Sas-bahu drama...and woman hate rain after wearing brand new cloths.....Yeah.... I think you get the idea :p


Tell me...what questions...bothers you most .... :D

Waiting for 2015 !!!!!

Hoping the last few days of month December.... keeps flowing fast and passes in a wink!

Anger and Me !!!!

Yeahhh...finally it's time write something on this. So many times I have heard about this from friends.....I have made so many silly mistakes in those moments of anger be it punching a wall...window or breaking a glass in hand. I am not justifying my anger but just trying to be honest with my self to accept it as my weakness. Most of the times or say all the times after few minutes I realize my mistake and try to make things even which was broken or damaged by my anger be it a friends...a relationship or any non-living thing. Hardly succeeded in doing it ...every time I promise my self but then after sometimes I do it again. 

See....we claim to be a strong person in front of people around us....for the world...may be we can try doing in front of friends and parents but then it's difficult to lie to oneself ...nearly impossible. 

Sometimes we act foolish.... when we like someone...like someone more than we should. I am not talking about love.....It's the state of confusion....because when you are in love.... you forgive everything.... and keep on living in the hurt. But when you are not sure of your feelings....it keeps on piling and sometimes frustration come our in burst as anger.

Again.....the hitch here is that right differs for everyone....what is right for me may not be the same for you....and that's where the problem starts. Even bigger problem is the expectations....Expectations are a part of any relations....and they increase or change with time. Sooner you accept and acknowledge this, the better. 

What I feel is that ....It's very easy to be a shoulder when someone is sad.....listening him/her blubbering is not that difficult either. As per me the most difficult part is to make a room for happiness for that person. So if you know that you can't fulfil the latter....then there is no meaning of doing the former. Because in that case you always end up hurting someone in the process.

For the past one month (actually it's true for every month).... I have felt so many emotions....but most of the time it has been anger. Not on others but I think ....I was angry at myself. 

But yeah I am saying this.....there is also true that ....there is no room for regret in my life. I haven't regretted anything I have done so far......which I believe was my correct thing to do. I believe in autocratic democracy ...you are free to give advice but decision will be mine and...then I will take the full responsibility of my actions. 

But again here.....what makes me angry is when people forget.....forget the fact that you are human. ....Just like them....and also you can be sensitive....may be not for most of things but for something. You may get offended for that something....even may be by the smallest of thing....then I expect the other person to understand your anger.... Because what I believe is that Anger comes where there is love....there is care....I can't be angry at some random people....but than most people overlook the fact.....they become defensive....and that kills the understanding. 

Sometimes we feels that .....Life teaches lessons in a harsh way. And also it's a fact that we don't really know what's happening in others' lives.

It is also true that.....when I am writing about my stupid emotions here.....in some part of the world.... someone would be praying....praying to save a dear one's life.... someone would be waiting.....waiting for help after meeting with a horrible accident.... someone would be celebrating....celebrating a success at career......also someone would be happy .....very happy because the girl he loves just said yes (lucky boy)..... and someone must have lost a huge assignment still fighting to start a life again. Someone may be trying to sleep and someone may trying to wake up.

You know what.....when the worst possible scenario chooses to be in your life.....you wake up every morning miserable.... and want to yell like a hell - why me. But there is not answer....whether you chose it... Or it chose you.... In any case it's you who has to fight with this. It's a Fight within yourself.....To keep convincing yourself that you will have good days too. Until then..... try to look for the you.... that's gone missing.

If you are lucky enough then you will get it and.... If you get that....help me to know where to search... :)

Have a rocking life ahead :)

Mentors....

Had thought about writing something on this long ago but was not able to put to gather respect in words. It's just that every time i sat down to write, i felt paralyzed. Where should i begin? every time i started to write something, i'd read over it and it didn't seem right. So i'd tear it up and promise that i'd start over again the next day. But one day just kept turning into the next and then , too much time had passed.

I would like to start the post with a short story.

"It was hostel canteen of an engineering college. As it was semester end examination time everyone was busy preparing and discussing exams,subjects and course content. Karan was one of those student present in the canteen. But he was lost in some thoughts. He was thinking of skipping semester end exams with a fear that he was not ready for it. It's not that he has not read anything or he was dull. But he just came back from home completing last rituals of his dad. He was brilliant student and had learnt the whole subjects through out the semester But i would say it was the lack of confidence. He was part of crowd but was lost in his own world of thoughts with lots of confusion.

There was one more person existed in crowd with having thought of skipping exams. He was Ravi . He was having same confusion due to some other reason. Both were sitting opposite to each other busy eating their lunch. Suddenly Karan asked Ravi why don't you have any reading material with you, have you completed everything? Ravi replied in low voice that he was planning to skip exams. He had make sure that no one was listening him. Skipping exam in first semester of engineering was equivalent to crime. Karan replied that he was to thinking on same line.

After completing lunch both them went outside of campus. They have watched movie , have roamed around city and had dinner at some highway dhaba. Both returned to campus late in night. Exam in engineering college is like festival. Most of the students were gathered in single room of friend and were preparing for the exams. These both guys have decided to skip exams so they went back to their room and collapsed on bed.

Aarif was student of 7th semester of same college. He had excellent record in college and already been placed in some multinational. Aarif and Karan were from city and they know each other. News of Karan was skipping exams reached to Aarif next morning. Campus was like home for students and they were like family such news can spread faster than 3G speed. Soon after hearing news Aarif rushed towards the room of Karan. He was still sleeping on his bed as he didn't want to attend exams.

Aarif had woke him up and asked him to wear shirt and follow him. In engineering college campus seniors gets more respected than Professors. Without arguing much Karan joined Aarif with puzzled look. It was 9:00 and exam was scheduled on 9:15. Aarif have rushed towards the exam hall with Karan. He had drawn 2-3 pens out of his pocket and asked him to attend the exam and write down what ever you know.

As soon after reading first question Karan was like yeah...i know bit about this let me write it down first and then second and third. He had completed paper with a great satisfaction. He has attended almost 80% question. Same was the case with other paper. Karan has completed the semester with B+ grade and completed his engineering with same. He is now working with some very good company with handsome package. It was due to Aarif. He had mentor Karan on right time. When on the other side Ravi didn't get that much needed mentoring . He had skipped the exam and went in depression. He didn't completed his engineering and lost somewhere in the crowd of unemployed youths."

The story ends here. But there are many Karan's and Ravi's are there but very few Aarif's. It's important for every Karan's to get mentors in form of Aarif's.

I too have many mentors in my life (touch wood). I have always been lucky to get someone to mentor me as and when needed. Be it school, college or company.

Many time i have tried to cry when i couldn't take it any more. But they have helped and taught me to get back and roar....

I would like to mention their initials....( ab,db,sv,no,tp,ht,hp,hb ,nj,mg,hc.)

Thanks guys to be there for me.... at some stage of my life.

[Note - Article is republished here, it has been already published in my older blog- http://time4masti.blogspot.in/2013/05/mentors.html ]

Book review - Half Girlfriend

I got the book on Wednesday morning in office. So curious to read much hyped novel but then something funny happened.  I was going to hometown same day and then forgot to take along with me.

I came back from home on Sunday night and then completed it at one go in 4 and half hours....being precise 4 hours and 35 minutes :).

It can be done with novel of Chetan Bhagat only and he is also criticized for that....yes.... because of his simple english. Five Point Someone was the first novel from where I have started reading english novel (yeah...I know...I know.... some of you don't consider him as English author at all) . And also... it is the new "cool" to criticize Chetan.....without even reading any of his books. If you are on twitter and following him then you must be knowing it.

Enough about background. ...let's come to the point. ...his latest novel .... 5 point someone. ..3 mistakes. ...1 night....revolution 2020.... he has something to do with numbers....1/2 girlfriend.

Yeah...without any doubt his latest novel "Half Girlfriend" is most hyped novel of the year and it will be best seller for years.  Mohit suri has already announced movie with it. He is surely a marketing genius, he has played every move correctly for launching of it.

"Half Girlfriend" is story about a rural bihari boy who can't speak proper english but then like any other Bollywood flick... he conquers the world ....but only after his true love is shattered.Then as it is chetan bhagat novel....so it also shows governmental inefficiency....corruption....and social activities. It also shows desire to succeed and internal fire to achieve something. Leaving some really good offer to be with family reminds me a phase of my life. (Actually the thought of half girlfriend from Riya's perspective... also reminds me something :p ).

Packed with cool quotes like....

"Girls never tell you anything straight out anyway....you have to interpolate and extrapolate their responses to figure out what's on their mind"

"An army of intellectual men cannot solve the riddle created by an indecisive woman. "

"I am with you ....that's how I define my good time :)"

"sometimes it matters to me.... unlike your other friends.. .I can tell if something is wrong....and if something bothering you...it bothers me..... I want to know everything about you.....but getting you to talk is like a dentist pulling teeth "

"Learn about girls...or figure it out....but don't ruin it.  Understand? "

It is interesting book....I don't want to add spoilers in this post...so will not share anything about story. I will only say that I liked it....more than normal like because many incidents reminds me about my life .... :)

All in all, It will make a good Bollywood movie story.

Happy Reading!!!!!

Youth - and so called generation gap !!!!!

Most of the time....I don't take so much time to accept or to ask for apologies from friends because they are from my generation and we are more transparent and vocal about likes and dislikes. 

Youth these says may not be wiser than the elders but they are more transparent.  To hide once own mistake is may be the expertise of our so called elders but guts to accept that mistake and trying to make it correct is the power and monopoly of younger generation.

See again I am vocal about praising my generation but that doesn't mean every time elders are wrong. I use 50 bucks by taking Auto to save time of 15 minutes and my Mom walk that distance and use that 15 minutes to save 50 bucks. We both are correct from our view point and I respect that view point as well.

But I have issue when something happen like this.....

Incident 1 :- 

One day at my building I saw two elders waiting for lift....lift was at fourth floor and we have to reach at 2nd floor. Instead of waiting I opted for the staircase and we all reach to second floor at same time. One of the gentleman asked me that if you could have wait for few seconds you might not had to climb stairs and ultimately it took same time. I just said I don't like to wait for anything.  Just after that I overheard them murmuring that no body wants to wait...what will happen with this new generation.

Incident 2:- 

The next day I again meet both of them during dinner at some function and people were waiting in queue in front of counters.  And there these so called elders came jump the queue and took food in their plates and no body from us who were waiting in queue uttered a word out of respect.  After taking food I went towards them and whispered in his ear that...as I don't like to wait ...but I also understand and respect the feelings of people waiting for something and hence I don't jump the queue.

My point over here is that ...we give you respect (which you deserve) ... but we also want you people to understand and respect our view point. 

Most Imp - Here by younger and elder ....I don't mean by age... I am talking about the mental state. Elder means living in past century.... I have one uncle (friends dad ) of age of 60 whom I do consider of my generation. 

What is success !!!!

Feeling Successful is an emotion that is not really related to Success….

***************** Not my words************

Consider that everyone in this world is running a race. Everyone is somewhere in the race. The beggars and homeless are somewhere towards the end, whereas the likes of Bill Gates and Ophra Winfrey are somewhere towards the front. You are also somewhere in the race, running and trying to move ahead of those in front of you.

Also, consider that everyone is suffering from myopia. Therefore, no matter where you are in the race, you can only see 5 people ahead of you and 5 people behind you. A small shop owner somewhere in the line can only see and compare with similar 5 people ahead, and 5 people behind. This shop owner cannot even see Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey. If the shop owner moves ahead, he would have a different set of 5 people ahead and 5 people behind to compare with. Similarly, a multi-millionaire somewhere in the race can see and compare himself only with 5 similar multi-millionaires ahead and 5 behind.

People continuously move ahead or behind in the race. Their position keeps changing with successes and failures in their own lives and in the lives of others. However, no matter where they are, their position remains the same from their own perspective. There are always 5 more successful people ahead, and 5 less successful people behind.

***************************************************

I agree life is not a race. In fact it is not possible to define what is life. There are multiple perspectives of life. Life being a race it one such perspectives, which helps in understanding some aspects of it.

Some other perspectives of life that I personally like are, life is a journey, life is a game, life is an opportunity, life is an illusion....

Oppsss diverted from topic.... Let me bring it back to track....

........... So ........What does really success mean to you ????